Blooming

So many exciting things have been happening in the past few months!
My job is getting easier to do, now that I understand better what my responsibilities are and how to carry them out, and it's becoming more fun  to do. I find myself looking forward to getting there in the morning, which is a great feeling. My coworkers are all awesome to work with! Yes, even  the difficult ones.. It's been pretty great!
And my social life! While it seems to be in one of it's ebbing phases, it has been really fulfilling. :)
One of my best friends, Denise, has started her own business as a consultant for LuLaRoe Clothing. Which is exciting to watch happen! Having been raised in a family owned and operated company, and worked for two more, it's pretty rad to see it from the start. I love helping her out with everything, even though I'm not as tempted to buy or wear everything like she is, it's been really cool to be a part of the process with her.
She even let me do the honor of throwing the first in home popup party with her! Which was SO MUCH FUN! And I'm sorry, but I was too busy making mimosas (with ginger kombucha, OJ, or Pom Wonderful) to take any pictures. We had a raffle, and one of my friends who is super new to LLR won, which is always exciting!
And my goddaughter was baptized! Which was awesome to be a part of. I am not catholic, so knowing what to say, when to repeat phrases, and how to hold burning candles that threatened to drip hot wax on my hands was kind of hard to keep up with. But it was worth it. :)
And my brother had his baby, so I'm an Official Full Fledged Auntie now!

All of the thrilling things happening!

I hope to be back soon with something crafty.. Hang tight!

Opportunities

I got a job!

I applied myself and I got it done. It's not my dream job, my dream pay, or dream position. But it's a good job, with good people, and the pay is enough for me to live and pay my bills. And I'm totally, and almost uniquely, qualified to do it, which is exactly what I needed!

Opportunity isn't always what we think it is. Sometimes your greatest achievement is waiting somewhere you least expect it.

No, I wasn't applying to places like McDonald's or Target. I really wanted to get out of the food and retail industries when I was in them. But if I had gone a few more weeks of no jobs or callbacks, I can't say that I wouldn't have applied to those places.

And why wouldn't I? Sure, they aren't ideal, but you never know what you could learn there. About yourself or about others. How to behave, how to treat people, what you're capable of being treated like.. Every job has it's own challenges and lessons.

And you never know if that customer you're talking to will end up being your next boss. It happened to me!

Richard Branson has said, "If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes- then learn how to do it later!"

I cannot tell you how much this quote resonates with me today.
I wasn't sure I could do my last job, and it was tough sometimes, but I DID IT!
I'm not sure I want to stay with this new job forever, but you know what? It's still an amazing opportunity, and I am just going to keep saying yes to opportunities.

I would be foolish not to!

I say all of this because, while I am employed in a temp-to-hire position, I may not stay at this job. I have a few other options floating around in a limbo, waiting for things to pass or fail.

I am so happy to be employed again, though. Sitting at home not knowing when I would be able to afford to have a roof over my head was daunting and scary. And the position I accepted does not have any down time, which is perfect. I needed something to keep me out of my own head.

But for now, I am excited for change. I have needed change for a while. The view from here is only open doors, and I'm loving it!

Sneaky Horizons

I have been submitting resumes for just over 10 days now, and I haven't heard back from anyone yet.. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. Especially since most of the jobs I've applied for are still accepting applications until around February, if not March.. So it's okay.
I have also applied to a temp agency, and actually interviewed with them today. It was a strange feeling, being interviewed for a generic series of jobs.. But I'm hoping that it yields something, even a temporary placement..
   Something is better than nothing..

Jobs Viewed: 500+ 

Resumes Sent Out: 15

On another note, though, my roommates have asked me to help them to eat better. One needs to eat healthier, and the other needs to eat with a better frequency. And both need to eat out less often. And since I'm without a job, direction, or purpose in life currently, they have both asked me to help them. Alright, fine, I offered to help and they both sighed and said yes.

The trick is finding ways to make things taste amazing while hiding a ton of healthy things into it.

So far, I think I've been fairly successful.

I made spaghetti squash spaghetti, with ground turkey meat, pureed zucchini, carrots, and chard. I sprinkled some cheese on it and served it beside some roasted potatoes that I didn't quite roast long enough.. Actually they were raw. 40 minutes at 350 and they were hot and raw. That was disappointing..

And I made turkey stroganoff with two yellow zucchini and several mushrooms pureed into it. It actually really good! Couldn't tell there were zucchini's in it at all!!

And today I made cornbread muffins with a large peeled and pureed zucchini in it. Can't even tell.. They are actually really good. I sprinkled some Tapatio sauce in them, too, just for a little kick. And the chili I made to go over the cornbread was pretty much 90% pureed veggies.. One can of black beans, one can of diced tomatoes, and a pound of ground beef. And my food processor had fun with carrots, mushrooms, onions, bell peppers, broccoli, and zucchini. It was awesome! Sprinkled some cheese on it, a dallop of sour cream and the whole thing on top of a muffin.. It was DELICIOUS!

Not sure what I'm going to make next, but I will probably tell you.

In the meantime, though, have an amazing day!

A Terrifying New Chapter

I've rewritten this post about ten times now..  And I haven't liked the way any of them were written. So I'm going to say it simply.

I have been laid off.
I've never been laid off before, and it is, frankly, a terrifying concept to me.
The horror that I may not find a job soon enough to pay all of my bills to survive is scary, and I don't want to be a financial or emotional burden on anyone.
For anyone who knows me that is reading this, I probably haven't told you. And that's probably because I'm so terrified. And also because I am not seeking pity on this. I am not looking for any handouts. I'm okay with some assistance, like a nudge in a general direction, but I would like to be able to say that I did this on my own.

So I'm going to look at this as a new adventure.
And I invite you to follow my progress.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for, and I am not sure how long it's going to take.
But I am sure that I'm trying. I'm putting forth my best effort.

I allowed myself two and a half days to be shocked about it. And now that it is Monday, it is time for me to buckle down and hunt.

Jobs Viewed: 20+ 

Resumes Sent Out: 2 

Cover Letters Written: 1

Superhero Bridal Shower

My twin sister, Dana, is getting married in March.
It's going to be awesome for her. Perhaps a bit sad for me, because I am a selfish human being, but I am very excited for her.
But since she is getting married, my older sister, Tabitha, and I threw her a Bridal Shower.
It took us quite a bit of time to come to a decision as to where it would be and what theme, but we finally came to a decision!

Superheroes!

I'm not going to sit here and walk you through how to do everything. That's what Pinterest is for, and I don't have the patience to type up step by step directions for how we did it.
But I can tell you that Pinterest is awesome, and Amazon is your friend. And also your local party supplies stores.

I purchased several adult sized super hero capes of various colors for bridesmaids and sisters to wear, reserving silver for the bride, and letting everyone else pick the color they wanted to wear. (As I am writing this, I am realizing I had offered a cape to my sister in law and forgot to fetch it for her.. Steph, if you're reading this, I hope you don't fault me.)

We played Bridal Bingo during the gift opening, and we also played the Pin Game (where no one could say BRIDE or WEDDING).
I found a gif of a blonde super female and a brunette super male, which perfectly matched my sister and her beau, and set them in the center of the Bingo card as the free space.
I didn't get a picture of the clothespins, but my older sister did an awesome job drawing tiny super hero logos on each of them. It was actually really cool, and I'm glad she did it! When she had first told me her idea for them, I thought she was going to print logos, cut them out, and glue them on.. My imagination producing a large chunk of paper getting caught in everyone's clothes and falling off.. (I have bad experiences with this happening..)





















I also set up a photo booth area, generally using this tutorial to build a backdrop frame, if you wonder, but since it was 10' tall, we added 2 support poles to the back at 45 degrees (top of the poles to the bottom and back of the feet). I really should have manned it, but it turned out pretty awesome, regardless.

I had intended to play a door raffle, but I completely spaced and forgot to ask people to write their name on pieces of paper upon arriving.. Whoops!

We bought wine, since it was an adults only party, for prizes from a local Wine Bar (Buon Vino), and attached Superhero Pez dispensers to them.
We ate dip, pigs in blankets, and drank punch (7Up, Hawaiian Punch, Orange Sherbet combo! MMMmmmm).

It was actually a really awesome party.

And I hope that my sister's marriage is just as awesome for forever.

(No part of this post was intended to be an advertisement. I just like sharing my crafty success and pointing people in the direction of local businesses. All photos are MINE MINE MINE! Don't be rude and steal stuff. Rude.)

A New Season, A New Leaf

Welcome to the new year!

In the spirit of the New Year, I am setting some resolutions for myself. And I hope that, at the end of the year, I can look back on this entry and nod in acknowledgement of having achieved that goal.
With that said, I will now jump on the bandwagon of resolutions and goals, in the form of a fabulous list. Because who doesn't like lists??

Resolutions for 2016

           1. Go Outside More Often

Go outside, however that may manifest itself. For me, I plan to go camping at least once, every other month. That's a grand total of 6 times, which should be doable.

Going outside will keep help me away from my extremely clingy boyfriend, Netflix. It's also something I always dream about doing, but am too afraid to do alone.
I grew up in a family that went on long road trips across the country, with our pop-top trailer in tow. There are pictures of my face covered in dirt, my hair a total mess and sticking up in several directions, and I wouldn't trade those memories for the world. And I don't understand why I ever stopped making those kinds of memories.. Why I ever stopped going on those kinds of adventures.


           2. Try New Experiences

This one kind of points to number one, but it's also a throwback. About three years ago, I made a resolution to 'Say yes to things you would normally so no to.' Within reason, no funny business! And I did, sort of, but not to the fullest extent that I could have. I still said no to the concept of things that scared me.

And I'm ready to say yes to so much more!

I want to go to a major sports game, just so I can say I did.
I want to hike to the top of a mountain, and back down it.

I want to wake up early in the morning and take pictures of the sunrise from a new place.

           3.  Quit Social Media

Yep. You read that right. QUIT. Maybe not all of it, if cold turkey is too hard for you. But TRY at least. For me, I have already deleted my Facebook account. I still have my Instagram account (don't judge me), but I hope to eventually delete that, too. And, if I'm being honest with myself, I will probably log back into the account before the month is over.. But hopefully I don't give up. Hopefully I re-delete it shortly after I re-activate it..

Social Media has caused a lot of self conflict for me, and I find myself constantly checking my notifications. 

Did anyone 'like' what I posted? How many comments did I get? I wonder what this person has to say today.. Oh, I wonder what Buzzfeed posted an hour ago. Hey, that Tasty post is almost identical to the recipe I've grown up with..

It's essentially an addiction. And I kept catching myself being distracted while I was with my friends, with my family, while babysitting my nieces.. It's not fair to anyone around me to be attached to my phone, to have my eyes downward, and my attentions somewhere else. It's taking away from what's directly in front of me. And I don't want to miss any experiences by wishing I was a part of someone else's.

           4. Write More Often

It doesn't matter how much, how well, or how often. Just make sure it's more often than you currently are.

For me, I am hoping to maintain posting in this blog. Hopefully you'll be reading a lot more posts about new adventures. Writing is very cathartic and I don't do it nearly enough.

           5. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

This, I feel, is a fairly cliche resolution, but hang in there. This one refers back to number three, and I don't want you to think I'm being ridiculous.

I don't want to compare myself to anyone else anymore.

In November I went to take some photos in Berkeley. I was dealing with one of my inner demons, and I genuinely didn't want to be there. After taking the pictures, I went to a lookout point and had some alone time. I took a selfie, and posted a picture of myself smiling, with some caption about 'enjoying the view'.

It was a lie. I wasn't enjoying the view. I was lonely, and wishing that I was someone else, anyone else. I wanted nothing more in that moment to be one of my other friends, any one of them. They all seemed to be so happy with their kids, significant others, homes, travel plans, life experiences, jobs.. The irony being that I was doing the exact same thing they were.

Because we all put out the face we think looks best, and will be best liked.

With the glorious wonders of social media, you only put out the face you want others to see. I am constantly comparing my life with theirs and it's not fair to anyone, especially myself, that I do that.

Pardon my french, but that kind of an attitude toward your own life experiences is bullshit. You know why? Because someone out there looking at what you do with your life and your spare time is wishing that they were in your shoes.

But life isn't about always being liked, coming in first, or being the prettiest. Sometimes life is ugly, cruel, gross, and heartbreaking. And it's through the turmoil that we do the most growing. And it's because of the crappy times that we can appreciate the good ones.

I'm going to attempt to cut out comparing myself to others. It's not going to be easy, but the best things you can achieve never are.

And that's it, kids.

Five resolutions that I hope I can live by. Five goals that I hope I can conform to and adapt to.

Good luck this year, people!

Breakfast Stuffed Bell Peppers!

I know it's been forever and a day since I have updated this.. So I'll briefly fill in the anonymous world of das internets.. Moved back to the Bay Area in October, as I believe you know.. I was working at a Starbucks store in Lafayette briefly, and then they transferred me to Moraga. I will soon be transferring to the other Lafayette store. Three stores in less than a year! It's been pretty crazy, but it's been really good. And I like it.

Nancie and I before our race in Napa!

As for roller derby, it's taken a seat in the very back of my imaginary 15 passenger van. It's very sad, but between a scare of serious back problems(I say scare because it wasn't as bad as I thought it was initially, but I did still require chiropractic care), and needing to work as much as possible to pay all of my bills, I just can't seem to find the opportunity to skate as often as I'd like. But I have been doing more outdoor skating, and I sometimes find time on the weekends to skate with Bay Area Derby Girls' recreational league called The Reckless Rollers. I skated in a half marathon about a month ago with a customer I had met that I found out skates outdoors all the time. It was a blast, and I never thought I'd be able to finish it without stopping for 5 minutes to breathe. But I actually did decently well, which is encouraging for next year. I don't think I would've gone through with the race if Nancie hadn't gone with me. :) I do plan on getting back on the track sometime in the future, but for now, I just can't afford to. And it's heart breaking.

What I CAN seem to afford to do, somewhat, is make food. Which I LOVE to do, but I haven't really been able to much lately, but I keep coming up with all these delicious ideas and haven't really had the opportunity to make them.. WELL! I got up extra early this morning to help out one of my three roommates, and I decided on my way home at 6:30 in the morning, "Hmm.. Maybe I will make some breakfast!"

And I did. And it was brilliant! And completely my own creation. I didn't google anything, look anything up on Pinterest, or any of that nonsense. I used my brain. WHAT?? That's crazy talk, no one does that anymore. She must be crazy.. Or lying.. NOPE! No lies! Totally from my own melon. ^_^

So, at the request of my friends from utter jealousy after seeing my Facebook post about them, HERE IT IS! Everyone calm down. Breakfast is here. And so easy to change into something vegetarian, or vegan(but what is life without delicious mooing cheese??), or super meaty, or.. Well, you could turn it into dinner.. But this is BREAKFAST, people! Gluten free, heathy, delicious, extra cheesy BREAKFAST! It's so versatile I could squeal!

Alright. So before we start, you should know I'm kind of a loosy goosy cook.  I make up the recipe as I go. But for you, I guess I could write it down for you... Just remember, I throw whatever I happen to have in my fridge into the pan.. With the right seasoning(or enough seasoning, really), you can make anything simple taste awesome!

Here we go!

6 bell peppers (any color will do)

1 lb sausage

2 cups frozen hash browns

4 eggs

2 - 3 cups cheese

1/2 cups salsa

1 tablespoon minced onion

salt and pepper to taste

And any other favorite seasoning you might imagine.

 Let us begin, shall we?

Prepare yourselves!!

• Step 1: Prepare yourself for awesomeness!!! I prepared by putting on my batman apron(thank you, twin sister, for finding this gem at Target!), got some coffee(I work at Starbucks, this gives me the right to be an annoying coffee snob. Just a heads up), and turned on my Pandora station(current hit list, FYI). (Oh, PS- apparently there is going to be a lot of self commentary in parenthesis. I know this is the incorrect use for the sideways frowny/smiley mouth. Get over it. Mwahaha!)

DEATH to peppers! Mwhaha!

• Step 2: In the words of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, OFF WITH YOUR HEAD! No but seriously, you have to remove the stems from the bell peppers. I call it de-heading, beheading, or guillotining. Purely because it's fun to. If you're broke like I am, save AS MUCH of the bell pepper flesh AROUND THE STEM as you can! Chop that stuff up and throw it in the freezer! You could totally use it in a couple days in some radtastic chili or omelette. Anyway!! Chop the heads off those suckers and toss em(GENTLY!!) into some boiling water. You might want to preheat your oven sometime soon. Unless you're a really quick chef. Then you probably should have done that before you started cutting into things like Sweeny Todd.. Turn that puppy on at 400 degrees. Yeah. I like it hot. (Yeah. I went there.)

Mmm brown stuff with green stuff...

• Step 3: Remove your bell peppers from the water! Only leave em in for 5 minutes, unless you forget. Like I did. Then they get super squishy and start to lose their color.. :( But hey! If you're crazy like me and put them in cold water and got bored waiting for it to warm up, start cookin that sausage! I cooked it with a mild italian sausage links I get in a bulk package at Costco(love that place..), but I did have an awesome idea to use some of Aidelle's chicken apple sausage.. Unfortunately, it's not in my freezer.. FROWN! Anyway, once your meat is brown throw in those hash browns(more like hash whites right now, better brown that stuff!), let your peppers dry out a little, and spray down your casserole dish. Or oil it. Or butter it. Whatever you fancy. (No judgement for the cluttered counter, ok? I live with boys. That's the excuse I'm going with.)

Don't forget to add your eggs and stretch this deliciousness!

• Step 4: For the broke kids, the moms, the working humans of the world, or even the party throwin' people, you might want to consider cutting your bell peppers in half. WHY? Oh, well, it makes them fit perfectly into a 9x13 pan. That's why. Also, they fit really well in ziplock bags, can be eaten without a fork, and if you make a crap ton of filling like I usually do, can make this dish heartily serve 12 instead of serving only 6! WHAT? That's crazy.. And they FREEZE? Wahh? Actually, I don't know if they freeze.. I planned to throw the remaining ones in there but my monkey roommates ate everything before I got home today(oh boo-hoo! It was delicious!). Oh yeah, you might want to add those eggs and seasonings sometime soon. Almost done, I promise!

400! 20 minutes! NOM!

• Step 5: Put the stuff in your pan into a bowl. Stir in about a third of your cheese. I'm not certain how much I used.. Pretty sure it was around to handfuls in the filling and two on the tops.. I'm guessing thats about 2-3 cups.. *shrug* Use whatever you're comfortable using! Stir in that salsa! I have pace.. And it was bomb.. Feel free to taste test what you have so far. Just to make sure everything is they way you want it. Spoon some filling into each bell pepper halve, sprinkle the remainder of your portioned cheese over each one, and bust that tray into the oven. Uncovered(whoa, she's gutsy!) for about 20 minutes. This will melt all that cheesy goodness and make everything fabulous. Promise!

• Step 6: DING! Booooom! Done. Your food is ready and delicious! Look at that! Nom nom goodness!! Have a glass of orange juice. Eat a piece of jellied toast.

I'm telling you. It's bomb. And I don't lie about food. True story.

If you're vegetarian, try making this with mushrooms, spinach, maybe some quinoa.. Mmm.. Quinoa..... I know it's more of a lunch thing, but some health nuts eat the stuff cold with yogurt, so it cant be that terrible, right? Do vegetarians eat eggs? Or cheese? I know vegans have substitutes.. And vegetarians have meat flavored veggie tofu.. Throw some of that in there! Especially if there's cheese! OH THE CHEESE!!!! Nom!

Anyway, if you have ideas, or you end up making this, let me know! I want to hear about it! I heart food! ^_^

I will miss this..

This was my last night of any practice with Sacred. I'm praying it's not my last practice entirely, with any league, because I love this sport so very much and I don't want to give it up for any small reason like moving. I am going to put in for a transfer to the B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls (BAD) if my work lets me have the schedule for it with school classes, as well. We'll see..

But tonight I tried my very hardest to not make it about me. I got together with one of my teammates, Harsh Mello, who transferred from Bellingham Roller Dames(pretty sure that was their name), and she and another skater from the Fast Track program, Kiersten, brought their video cameras to practice. Miss Behaved was coaching, and she let us set up the cameras, one on top of the office on a tripod in an attempt to get as much of the track as possible, and the other in my hand to follow them as the skated by. I always wanted someone to take video of me skating around the track so I could show my family and friends my progress and so I could set personal goals for myself to overcome. I wanted them to make goals that were attainable, rather than "I want to skate like Susie HotRod", which, while highly possible, is not a very practical goal when you're just learning how to do everything to begin with. Plus, I don't want them to ever compare themselves to someone else, because we are all capable of greatness in our own ways.

After we filmed everyone skating and stopping, a few of us went out for drinks. I had a beer, provided to me by my fabulous derby friends, and then they decided to go around to tell me all the reasons why they would miss me. 

That almost got to me. At first it was mostly just fun things that make you smile and nod like, 'you're a ray of sunshine', 'you're always so cheery', and my personal favorite, 'you're not leaving, you just haven't accepted it yet'. But then it took a turn for the serious when Stache dropped a small speech about how I remind her of 'The OG', or The Original Group(or was it Old Girls?). How they had a genuine family feel that tethered everyone together. I almost cried.. But I didn't. Just tucked my chin into my neck and tried not to let my eyes leak.

I am going to miss all of these fabulous humans very very much.

I'm going to miss the way I cough at the end of practice after stretching down because of the dust in my lungs.

I'll miss the smell of sweat, oddly enough, because it's the smell of determination.

I'll miss hearing wind blow past my ear and helmet as I do warm up laps.

I'll miss hands in, and trying to think of something awesome to say, but only coming up with something crazy like 'Booty Sweat'.

I will miss seeing my brother and twin sister every week.

I will miss pestering my coworkers to clean things with strange notes left all over the store.

I will NOT miss entitled bratty customers who don't want to pay for the extra extra caramel in their drink who don't understand why I wont let them pay with someone ELSES credit card. Won't miss that even a little bit. Nope.

But everything ELSE? Definitely.

This past year has been full of challenges for me, both good and bad. I genuinely wish I had more initiative to sit down and write more, as it is a very good outlet for me.

It was really rough for me in the beginning, trying to adjust to a new place with new friends, new coworkers, new pet, new hobbies, and new activity level. I have learned so much about who I am as a person, and what I am capable of. Some of which has surprised me, and some of it was exactly as I expected. But I couldn't have done all of it if I didn't have family, friends, and an incredible league cheering me on. Yeah, there were some people who openly told me they didn't want me to continue, and there were those who were needlessly worried about me. My favorite were the one's who scoffed at me. But here I am. I am one hundred times more confident, not only in my individuality, but also in my femininity, in how I carry myself, and in my approach with people.

And I'm only gonna keep going. So I'll let you all keep wondering. ;)

Best! Practice! EVER!

During practice tonight, 4Closer had talked to us about a strategy that had been keeping her up at night while she tried to figure it out. She presented it to us and we practiced it hard for about forty minutes before she started implementing it during our scrimmage practice time. By the time we were scrimmaging, we were all pretty tired, and probably ready to go home and take nice long Epsom salt baths.

I was put on team Blue and our acting captain was Neill 'N' Weep. Team Red's captain was Daddy's Girl, or DG. We only scrimmaged for about a half an hour, and 4Closer was watching us on the sidelines with a specific rule for only herself and captain's to communicate with the teams from the benches. Every jam, I felt like I wasn't succeeding at being a effective blocker as I kept losing my buddy and letting the jammer slide right past me. Every time I looked over at 4, she seemed frustrated that we weren't creating strong enough walls to keep the Red team back, and that frustrated me knowing that I wasn't doing my job right. I kept getting great advice from my team about better ways to stick together and hold the jammer back. I tried to store the information in my head without letting it get to me, because I know that if I get inside my own head, I will only get worse. My own demons just continue to whisper to me about how terrible I am, and, sadly, I listen. So every time I sat down, I focused on the game, and I reminded myself, "It's just a game. Have a little fun. Stay with your buddy. Be the effective blocker I know you can be."

The last jam of the night, I went out with Neill 'N' Weep, YB Normal, and Black Venom. Of the four of us, I know that Neill is the strongest. She's on the A Team for crying out loud. So I knew that even if I lost my own buddy, if I stuck near her, I would be at least somewhat effective. Our jammer was Skirt Vonna Gut, a transfer from Silicon Valley. I remembered hearing her tell me, "Help me through their walls," and I kept thinking about what 4 had told me, "Communicate with your pack," and I kept reminding myself, "Stick with Neill."

The opposing team was comprised of A team players and B team players, and that alone was enough to make me at least a little clammy. The whistles blew, and I started 'playing' with the opposing blockers, getting distracted and losing track of Daddy's Girl, who was Red's jammer. I watched as she just cruised right by me. I watched her speed around turn one and saw 4Closer on the sideline shaking her head. There was that tiny demon again, "YOU SUCK!"

"Where's Skirty?" I thought.

I looked over my shoulder and realized that Skirty was still in the pack with me, and I tried to make a hole for her. I helped her get out, only to be lapped again by DG. But at least my jammer was out and able to make points the next time I saw her. I quickly skated back up to my buddy, YB. The pack started really moving, and I tried to continue to break up the red teams walls. I realized I was surrounded by only red jerseys, and then I heard Mazel ToughCocktail holler to Virgenocide, both on team Red, "GET CHERYL! GET CHERYL!"

I'm certain my eyes probably bugged out of my head at this point, because there was no way I was going to be a standing point without fighting to keep it from them. And I made sure that they knew this by shouting as loudly and as angrily as I could, "NO!"

It actually shocked me how throaty it sounded, and I blazed right past Virgy as I suddenly got tunnel vision on Neill and tried to get to her as fast as I could. We flew through turn 3 and 4 as DG came at us quickly into turn 1. I'm not certain if I actually shouted it or if it was all in my head, but the only thing that came to my mind was WALL! WALL! WALL! I watched as DG tried to skate past Neill as I slide up beside her and hit her. I didn't just hit her like I usually hit people.. I am still pretty green, and I have a terrible time getting enough power to actually hit effectively, but I actually HIT Daddy's Girl OUT!! I could hear my team cheering for me on the bench as I slowly started to realize what just happened. But without thinking about it anymore, I slid to fill another hole in our wall and spread my feet as wide as I dared without toppling over, as I always do, trying to implement a stop method that Skirty and Dirty8 Special had told me about earlier in practice. It was at this moment that Daddy's Girl, one of the most intimidating jammers to me, that I love skating against purely because I love to learn and hate skating against because she's SO INTIMIDATING, threw up her hands at her jam ref in frustration. I'm certain it was just because she was tired, and it was the end of a really long night, and I have a sneaky suspicion that some of the A skaters have been holding back around me(which bugs me), but it made my whole week a thousand times more awesome. It was the pinnacle of my derby career thus far, and it was absolutely amazing! When I got back to the bench, I had my butt rubbed and my helmet slapped! People cheered my name, which I have never had happen before, having never played an organized sport before, and at hands in, they said, "We heart you, Clobber!" I almost cried. And afterward we went out for drinks, and they bought me a beer!

BEST! PRACTICE! EVER!!

SACRED POR VIDA!

Jayne Clobber, #704

I'm finally in the 'big girl' league, and after being there only a few weeks, I feel like I'm really improving.

Of course, trying to attend every practice every day of the week, even if it's not my own practice time, has probably helped that a lot..

I finally decided on my derby name, even submitted it to be registered with my very own derby number. 

Jayne Clobber, #704.

I originally wanted it to be 7/4, but the number 74 is a number that's already been registered to the league by a recently retired skater, so I can't register it.. It's my mom's birthday. :) I think she would have been my biggest fan, and she would have been really proud of me for having gotten this far by pushing myself, so I should honor her in some way. Plus, she was awesome, duh, and her birthday was Independence Day, so how could I not go with it? A little patriotism is always a good idea. ;)

Can't wait to repaint my helmet this weekend!

I'm a Big Girl Now!!

I finally graduated out of the Fast Track program with Sacred! I'm no longer a sophomore skater, I'm in the league! In the pool to be drafted! I've finally earned the right to choose a derby name!

There was a bit of confusion about when the girls who were testing to move up would find out, but I did it! WE did it! All four of the girls that tested moved up into the league!!

Just over a full year of hard work and effort from about a dozen coaches and my own will to succeed!

For the nay-sayers who said they didn't want me to play, or thought that I would give up because I wasn't tough enough I say this, "HA! IN YOUR FACE! Please come to my first bout when I know when it is!!"

Found a Home

Found a place to live AND a new store to transfer to! I'm moving back to the bay, as I always had planned on doing, and now I don't want to go.

Funny how life changes you that way. I think in saying it all the time, I didn't realize how much fun I was having where I was. It's definitely a bittersweet notion for me right now.

There are a lot of things that I would rather not leave behind in Sacramento.. Mostly people, but that's the nice thing about being only 80 odd miles away, visiting isn't completely unheard of. I move at the end of October because my manager can't lose me until then.

Moving Again

Carl has decided to move in with his fabulous girlfriend in the house she's going to buy in the next year..

I guess it's time to find a new place for Whiskey and I to live!

Whiskey Rhea Pascoe Ogren

Well! It's been about 4 months since my last post(shame shame, Cheryl!), and A LOT has happened!

Let's see, where to start?

Well! My bio-Dad is getting married next month.
Roller Derby evaluations are next week.
I had an excellent work review last month.

AND, for my favorite and the BEST news yet!
I GOT A DOG!!!!!!

She's amazing in EVERY WAY!

I'm almost one hundred percent certain that my friends are getting annoyed of me frequently telling them about how amazing she is, and about the interesting new discoveries I've been making on the way. Especially my best friend, since for the past week I've only been sending him short messages containing phrases such as, "She's the best puppy ever!", "OMG I love her so much!", and "I love being a doggy mama, she walks to well!!" Poor guy.. I've also flooded several friends with pictures of my obnoxiously adorable pup as often as I possibly can.

Her name is Whiskey Rhea Pascoe Ogren(more on her name in a minute). She's a shepherd mystery mix, about 5 months old, 20-30 pounds, and about the size of a beagle. She's super smart, and learns very quickly! She's a bit of a licker, and she loves to play with balls, ropes, and other doggies. She doesn't seem to care too much about cats, unless they're running, and then she wants to play chase.
She's crate trained, potty trained, knows sit and down, she walks really well on leash(with a proper collar), and she knows to keep out of the kitchen and the garage and off of furniture.
Seriously, she's perfect in every puppy way!!

It took me about nine months before my brother was convinced that I was a responsible enough human to adopt a dog. I hunted www.petfinder.com and frequently visited the SPCA. I finally found a puppy dog that mostly fit the criteria I was permitted to have in my rented bedroom. She's technically fluffier than I'm supposed to be allowed, but I knew I had to meet her after I saw the ad. Ultimately, I wanted a pitbull or a mastiff.. If I had my way, I'd be snuggling every night with a newfoundland in my bed. But Carl had some rules on size, shedding quantity, droolers, and square headed breeds, limiting my selection astronomically.

But there she is! Laying on my floor next to my feet, chillin' like a little adorable villain.

Now.. About that crazy long name.. Every bit of it has a meaning behind it, and I didn't go into choosing them lightly. In fact, she spent several days being called 'Puppy', 'Doggy', and a various assortment of other possible names that I kept coming up with.
I was originally going to name her Rhea, which is the name of the mythological Titan Queen.. Pretty sure I read the wrong article about her, or misread it somehow, because I keep telling people Rhea was the first goddess(WRONG!), and the mother of Zeus(Alright, one out of two..). Anyway, I wanted to call her Rhea, not just because it's a pretty name, but because she is the mother of greatness. And I'm fairly certain that my fabulous puppy will be the mother of greatness. Not literally, of course, but figuratively.
She is Whiskey not only because I enjoy drinking whiskey, but also because of a myriad of other excellent reasons.. Like the color. Whiskey is brown.. So is my Whiskey! :D Whiskey tends to make people excited, the dog can be excitable..  Whiskey is sometimes described as smooth, my Whiskey has smooth fur! :D
Now.. Her last names.. Yes, you may have noticed she has two. There's a good reason for that.
Ogren is my surname. Born with it, stuck with it, so she is, too.
Pascoe, however, is a name that she has to earn.
The Pascoe name is from my pseudo family. I consider them a very important part of me, especially since they helped me through a very difficult time in my own life. They are the hardest working, most passionate people I know. They are loyal, trustworthy, intelligent, communicative, loving, gentle, forward, and genuine. Aside from the fact that my pseudo-Dad called her a 'Pascoe Ogren', I want her to have a name that she can live up to. As well as for me to hold her accountable to.

I am anxious to work with her every day! When I'm at work, I think about taking her for a walk after, and when I'm at home with her, I am frequently coaxing her to learn her new name, to perfect sit, down, come.. Soon I'll be able to teach her fancy tricks, and when she's old enough I can't wait to take her running with me, or skating with me!
I've wanted a dog I could actually call mine for years. I've been looking for a dog for three years!
This is a huge adventure to me, and I'm so glad to have her! She really is super puppy!

I'm Passionate About This Sport

I love roller derby.
I love my team. I love the sport. I love being a part of something that's bigger than me. I love being surrounded by competitive women who only want to help me succeed. I love being a part of a team that, not only rocks the western nation, but the socks of my neighbors, peers, and friends.
Roller Derby is an awesome sport to be a part of. And a huge family to be in. And it's the only thing I've started doing that I knew I was meant to do.

I got back on my skates last Saturday, and I was really nervous! I was scared that I was going to fall and hurt myself again and get put back in a brace and be out of work for another 6 weeks. Cannot tell you how much that thought scares me. But what bothers me more than losing my job, is being told that Roller Derby is a bad idea for me to be doing. Mostly the only people that say this are my coworkers, and from their stand point, I can understand why they think it's crazy for me to continue with it. But if they knew how miserable I have been for the last few years, they might realize that when I find something that I'm passionate about, I stick with it.

I'm passionate about my relationship with Christ. How He lives through me, helps me through every step of my life. Christ is in me.
I'm passionate about quality, in my workplace, school, or at home. The things I purchase, how I do things, how I treat people.. Quality drives me.
I'm passionate about Africa. About the people there, about their living conditions, and how much they need help. Africa stays in my heart always.
I'm passionate about animal wellness, particularly in dogs.
And I'm passionate about Roller Derby.

It's bothered me over the past few months while I've been out on disability when people have scoffed at me when I've said that I was going to return to skating. "Cheryl, you're not going to keep skating, are you? But you hurt yourself!"
If I was your child, would you tell me to stop trying to walk just because I fell down? Or stop letting me ride a bike just because I scraped my knee? If your child was trying out for soccer, would you push them to quit if it was something that made them happy? No, you probably wouldn't.

Tonight was the first bout against our new home teams. The Trainwreckers vs The Donna Party. And it was AWESOME! I connected with a few girls who have been skating within the league for a few years, but are yet to graduate to the teams. They told me that when I got back on my skates, I looked better than I did before I got hurt! And then they encouraged me to stick with it, and to not give up. Because soon I'd be moving up, and on a league team.

Frankly, I don't mind being in the lowest level group. Being in Fresh Meat means that I get to better hone my skater skills and learn to be more confident on my wheels. When I graduate to Fast Track, I'll learn strategy and how to take hits and such. And then there's the 'Big Girls'. My goal is to make it onto the travel team roster one day, and take it to Nationals.
And that goal is completely attainable. If I stick with it, forget the word "can't", and listen to what my coaches are telling me, I'll totally be able to do it. As long as my team continues to want me there, and continues to be as awesome as they always are, I'll always want to skate here. And no one can tell me I can't, or I shouldn't. Because, gosh darn it! I'm passionate about this sport!! :)

Forced Vacation

They say that Home is where the heart is. I haven't felt like I've been at 'home' in a few years now, and I must admit that I feel more at home sleeping on a floor mat in my pseudo parents house than I do anywhere else. I say that because that's what I did for the week of Halloween. And it was awesome. :)

On the 29th of October the halloween party ensued. It was an absolute blast! My older sister happened to be in Antioch for a brief stint, so she came out and helped us setup on friday, and then she had to go(sad days). But friday afternoon I also had plans. A few friends had invited me to play Balderdash for the first time. It was actually a lot of fun!

But not as much fun as the Warrior Dash was, which actually happened before the party did.

My & my gimp tape

Laura, Me, and Ryan after the dash! (we had been hosed off)

Ryan and Laura ran in the Warrior Dash with me this year and we all had a blast! I sucked and had to walk some portions, and even bypass obstacles, which I was really bummed out about, but I didn't honestly expect to a whole lot since I didn't really train for it and had to deal with my gimp arm taped up to my body. I still had a ton of fun, though. And Ryan promised to go again next year, which is always exciting.

Laura(firefighter), Britney(fat ballerina), and I

Then we had the party, which was pretty awesome. I was a pirate again, of course, and I had a complete blast. We had set up some pretty spooky stuff, like a pair of stuffed overalls and a mask were literall hanging from a noose in one of the trees. I got to carve a total of 3 pumpkins, and it was awesome!

I kept getting yelled at to stop trying to help clean up when everything was over, even though I was using my good arm, and not my bad arm. It seemed to be a recurring theme.. Use either arm, and get yelled at to go sit down somewhere and look pretty. It frustrated me, watching everyone else work really hard, and I couldn't do anything. It was actually extremely frustrating. I hate being lazy.

Monday morning I went back to Sacralameo to wash my clothes and get ready to leave town again. Before I did, though, I got to spend some time with one of my new friends, Miri. We had a lot of fun chatting over coffee and trying on dresses for a party she was going to the following weekend.

Clark and Ben

And then one Wednesday, I got on a plane to go visit my dear old friend, Ben, and his wife, Ashley. But mostly I went because I had yet to meet their son, Clark, who was about to turn a year old. The last time I had been there was about 2 and a half years ago when Ben and Ashley had gotten married. I was overdue on a visit, and I was very glad to have the opportunity to go over there. If I didn't have a doctors appointment two days before thanksgiving, I would have stayed longer.

Ben, Ashley, and I

It was so awesome to get to see Ben's family again! The whole trip made me seriously consider, probably for the umpteenth time in my life, moving to Texas. Just so I can be near to them.

But California is where my heart is. And home is on the floor of my pseudo parents guest bedroom.

Arrrrgh!

Well, tomorrow is the last Roller Derby bout of the season for Sacred City, and I'm stoked! I'm going to be wearing my halloween costume. I'm very excited! I'm going as a pirate because it's the only thing I could think of that would incorporate a sling without it looking completely tacky.. Well, I could've gone as a mummy, but that's dumb.. I have yet to see an attractive mummy costume..
Anyway! I'm very excited about tomorrow! I will be working the doors, checking ID's and cross checking your name as you come in. I'll have a camera that my sister so nicely is lending to me, which I'm very excited about, because I don't own a real camera.. Which makes me very glum..

My costume was an attempt to outdo the Halloween City super store.. I had tried on the pirate costume fashioned after Angelica from Pirates of the Caribbean 4, and after deciding that it was very poorly made and cost way too much, I declared I could do better myself.. And then I stepped in it and actually am doing it myself..
It started out as an adventure, I was going to make a pirate hat and corset out of a pair of leather pants I got at a thrift store, and then I changed my mind about the corset and was going to make a pair of spats to cover up a pair of work boots I have. But.. I ended up measuring the hat wrong, which is was hitting myself in the head for, and ended up trashing the entire leather project. Perfectly good waste of a perfectly well fitting pair of leather pants.. Pretty sure they were mens, and they were a few sizes too big, but the fact remains.. Poor pants..
But! I did manage to get my hands on some fishnet leggings and some shorts, that were originally made for athletics, and I partially shredded up a button up shirt I got. I'm very excited about the shirt, actually.. I used some dental floss, my thread of choice for the past several years, and put in some loopholes. And then I got my sister to get me some ribbon, thank goodness for sisters, and threaded a corset in the back. It's very crafty of me, I must say. I know you probably don't care about all of this, but I feel awesome having something to do.

Sexy Toilet Paper

Since having trashed my hat plan, I have to resort to a bandana plan, or Plan B(for bandana, aren't I clever).. If it doesn't look right, though, I'll drop by a dollar store and get a hat there. Or, I shudder to think, a Halloween City. Bleck. Mass produced felt crap for too much money, that's what that is.

Hot Couch Backdrop

And I got so excited about wearing my outfit for the bout tomorrow night that I had to try it on all together! I mean, who wouldn't get excited, right? Trying stuff on is always a blast, although I only like doing it when I'm alone, really.. That way no one can laugh at me. :D
Besides, every girl looks sexier when she's taking pictures of herself in fishnets in front of a couch or next to a toilet. Am I right, or am I right? I know that's my favorite lady picture backdrop. *shakes head* Oh, I also put makeup on my face in semi-traditional Dia De Los Muertos garb so I could see what I might do for Halloween and for the bout tomorrow night. Have I mentioned I a little excited about it? Yes. Definitely excited.

Oh, and I also officially activated my disability leave today. Got ahold of my dad last night, and am in the process of getting some plane tickets to go visit some friends in Texas. Which I'm pretty excited about, because I haven't been there in over a year, and all of my friends have been asking me to visit them pretty incessantly. And I'm pretty excited about it. I'll get to meet some babies for the first time, which I am so excited about!

Me & my "brother" Dan last year at Warrior Dash

And next week I'll be going to the Best(I mean! Bay!) Area to spend some time with my favorite humans on the planet(no offense to anyone who doesn't live there).
On Saturday I'll be running(sort of) in the Warrior Dash with my best friend and my favorite Wife-of-best-friend. I'm pretty freaking excited.
You know, for someone who loves their job and desperately tried to not go on disability, I'm doing pretty good at keeping busy these last few days, and am going to be these next few weeks. I love vacation. I hate the pay, though.. Sixty-six and two thirds percent of your average take home is not exactly my idea of fun, but.. I'm going to do what I can to survive.

I promise to post about the bout soon! And hopefully my sister will let me borrow her camera for all these miniature excursions. And hopefully she reads this and takes this as a playful nudge in the ribs to let me. :D

Super excited!
Four weeks left!

Gimp Girl!

Since having started skating with Sacred City Derby Girls, or SCDG, I have learned A LOT! I've learned proper technique and have really started to hone my skills and I think I'm getting a lot better. My balance is better, my stride, my pace.. I just suck at my falls. I can take a knee pretty well, but when it comes to the harder falls, like baseball slides and four point falls, I seem to need a little more work around the edges.. In fact, I need so much work that I'll be doing the next six weeks off skates. Yep, no skates.. Want to know why?

I partially dislocated my shoulder during practice. It really sucks, actually, but it makes for a great conversation starter with perfect strangers.
Last monday we were practicing our 4-Point falls, which is where you land on both knees with control and then land on your wrists. I was really having difficulty landing with control and instead just kept plopping on my knees which could eventually lead to some bad knee injuries. One of my coaches, Sassy Longlegs, encouraged me to try to land with better control so as to avoid injury. And then one of my teammates suggested that it's easier to fall and pop back up when you have some more speed.
Of course, I'm always game to try new things, so I tried pushing my strides through the apex of the turn a little harder to gain some more speed before I got to the miniature orange cones marking where I needed to fall. After this point, my memory is a little cloudy, so if you were there please chime in!
I plop one knee down and am about to put down my second knee when I start to lose my balance. At this point, it should have been easy to complete the fall successfully, but I somehow managed to land on my shoulder instead of my wrists, and my body was facing the wrong direction.. I fell backwards onto my shoulder instead of forward onto my wrists, my face against the sport court. I heard my coach ask if I was alright as I slowly started to realize what was happening.
"Ow! No!" I tried to push my body upright to get off the track so that the next pair of skaters could practice, but my right arm wasn't responding at all. A shooting pain coursed through my shoulder and I realized it was dislocated. "I can't move my arm!"
"Just breathe, Cheryl. Just breathe," Sassy said as she skated towards me. I heard her tell my other coach, RoseVillain, something but I didn't understand it. "Can you roll onto your back?"
I pushed my left arm under my body and grabbed my right with it. I slowly picked it up and rolled over onto my back. As my shoulder blade began to lay into the sport court, I felt my shoulder roll back into its socket. It reminded me of dipping a chicken wing into a very thick dip with a small bowl, suctioned to the dip so it lifts the bowl as you pull it out.. That's the kind of squishy suction it was. It's not an amazing metaphor, but it suits me.
Anyway, after I felt it go back in, I told my coaches it was back and I could actually move it again. I should have been glad, but my eyes watered and dripped down the sides of my face, especially when Sassy said I was done skating for the day.
She and RoseVillain took my helmet and skates off for me and they got a length of cloth to make me a sling. I was offered several car rides home but I was convinced that I could get there on my own. And I did, even though it was a little difficult.
I called in sick at work early the next morning and went to see a doctor.
The doctor put me in a sling for 6 days and gave me an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon. The orthopedic surgeon announced that I have no torn muscles, but, just to be safe, he wants me to wear a brace for 6 weeks and put me on light duty at work.
I tried for almost a week to convince myself and my manager that I could still work, afraid of what disability might do to me. Less pay, more laziness.. I abhor being lazy these days. Sure, relaxing once in a while is always a good idea. But I spent almost 2 years of my life being lazy, and I've kind of grown to hate that time of my life.
So I called corporate and they told me that I could work if my doctors note of ability met the minimum requirements for my job description, but that the decision ultimately lies with my manager, who doesn't want me to work. The representative promised to email me and mail me the list of job requirements that day, but she never did. Fail.

So while I waited for my important documents to arrive in my email box, my sister, Tabitha, was having trailer issues in Stockton, which is only about an hour from me. So I jumped in my car early friday morning and drove out to see her, even though I only expected to see her for about 15 minutes. Since she started trucking school, I've barely gotten to see so much as a text message from her, so I was very excited to see her!
I got down there and shortly after arriving we found out she had 5 hours free, which is practically unheard of in trucker tongue. So I took her and the other trainee who's been with her this whole time out to lunch at a fantastic little hole in the wall mexican joint in Manteca called Taqueria La Costa. It was pretty much amazing, as I would expect any truly authentic looking and smelling establishment to be.

Then we went into a thrift store, then to Walmart, and eventually to a Halloween City. It wasn't the best time to be had, but any amount of time with my sister at this point is cherished, so I still enjoyed it, even though I got a little cranky..
We ended up spending nearly 10 hours together, which was pretty amazing and I was very excited! But I had to go home and get some sleep to help with my team rummage sale the next morning, so I said goodbye and tried to get home as fast as I could.. Ended up getting caught by the police and ticketed for speeding.. But I deserved, and the officer was nice enough to change the speed I admitted to going to something I could still go to Traffic School for. I just keep reminding myself that God caught me sinning, and He decided that I need to help my state get out of debt..

The next morning I got up to drive to Sacramento to help out at the rummage sale. Since I'm in a brace, I wasn't very useful feeling so I volunteered to help a few other girls wave at passing drivers on the corner of our street. I'm pretty incapable of waving a sign, so I just stood near one and pointed to it every so often. I actually had a blast standing out there waving to complete strangers with my arm strapped to my stomach for 2 hours. It was hot, and oddly exhausting, but it was awesome! I ended up sticking around a little longer than I was scheduled to, and ended up having a little bonding time with some of my 'big girl' teammates. We call them big girls because they are a part of the roster teams, which means that they're awesome enough on skates to be able to knock your socks off. I'm still a freshie, as I say, because I'm a complete noob on skates. I'm sure you didn't need to be reminded of that after taking a look at the super attractive blue strap I have on..

After the rummage sale on saturday I went to a barbecue way out in Sheridan, which is kind of a cow town and off of some county roads, but I actually enjoyed the 40 minute drive. Ate some amazing food, which turned out to be a competition amongst friends, and had a lot of fun with a bunch of my brothers random friends that I hardly know. I also got to hang out with his girlfriend, Stephanie, some so that was good, too, of course. It was awesome. Oh, and there was free beer. How could I possibly turn down a free beer? Don't worry, I only had one because I had to go home at some point.

So that's my week, pretty much. :)

Wow, I should do this more often!!

Wow, I really don't post nearly as frequently as I'd like to! I'd like to do a recap of everything, but.. I think that's a touch unnecessary, and tends to be pretty lengthy as I like typing and words seem to flow out of my fingertips.
I moved to Sacramento at the end of May. The weather has been about 10 degrees hotter than the Bay Area all summer, so when my friends complain of heat at 90, I wag my finger at them and tell them it's 100 here.

I've been making friends, very very slowly, but it's coming along..



I got frustrated with being home alone all the time, so I started a garden just to get my mind focusing on something else for once.

*\ ~~~~~~^~~~~~~ /*\ ~~~~~~~^~~~~~~ /*

Tabitha finally followed her dreams. The only thing I've ever known her to ever really want, and she's finally going for it and succeeding. My sister is a trucker! She left for training in the beginning of August, and she's got her permit and everything! It's really exciting! Even though I know I'll miss her.. I'm secretly a little bit jealous because her job lets her travel and she'll get to meet some very interesting people along the way.

QASA stands for Quality Assurance Self Assessment 

Work has been a bit of a struggle for me. I've worked really hard to be a better employee and a better coworker, and it just feels like I'm chasing my tail all the time. I love my team, but sometimes it feels like I'm talking to a wall when I try to calmly explain things to some of them. Which can be frustrating.. I know I'm not perfect and I really need to work on my approach, but.. It's really getting me down. There was a brief period of hope for me when my district manager and manager had asked me to go to a managers only meeting for health and cleanliness. I wrote as many notes as I could so that the whole team could be knowledgeable and could see how we could make the whole store a cleaner, better place to work. It ended up being 8 printed pages of notes!
And then the manager declared that I was in charge of communications for the whole store since I kept asking about the weekly memos we're supposed to have posted to read every monday that weren't getting posted.
But it's frustrating being responsible for communicating cleanliness guidelines to people who either don't realize I have that responsibility, or just don't care either way. Sometimes it feels like I'm under appreciated there, and it really sucks..

Sacred's practice space during tryouts in August

OH! And I finally joined a roller derby team!! I don't have a whole lot of pictures because it's a little hard to take pictures of yourself skating when you're in the middle of practice. But it's been pretty awesome so far. I missed practice last night, I was afraid of being too late to practice, so I just turned around and went home.. It was awful not being there.. But I didn't want to get yelled at for being late..
Anyway!! Roller Derby teams consist of a lot of girls with various skating ability. Because of that, they typically have beginner, intermediate, and advanced level practices. I am in the 'beginners' part of the team, which I'm actually glad for. It will help me become a stronger skater, and I'll be totally prepared for the intermediate coursework.
The team is WFTDA(Women's Flat Track Derby Association) certified, which means that we can be(and ARE) nationally ranked and play be a standardized set of rules that are recognized worldwide. My team is called the Sacred City Derby Girls, or SCRG. We are currently ranked number 7 in the nation. Which is kind of a big deal. No one in roller derby gets paid to play, and I think that makes it so much more exciting. It's something that I am totally capable of doing myself, and I no one is 'better' than anyone else because they get paid more. It's all for one, and one for all. It's the first time I've EVER been a part of a team sport, and I can't wait to get better at it and compete on a higher level.

Anyway.. It's quickly becoming Wednesday, and I need to get some sleep in! I promise to update more frequently with what's going on in my life!

Don't Go Changin'

Well.. It's been a while again. I tend to forget that I have a blogspot at all, and I don't post. It's a sad thing.

What's been going on lately is kind of a lot for me to handle. After leaving Kyle, I began to realize there were a lot of deepset issues that I hadn't quite confronted in my life. Issues that I pushed to the back of my mind and tried to ignore. The biggest issue was my mom's death. I swallowed up the pain and covered it up with a 'too serious too fast' relationship. I got gobbled up in a pit of depression, and am still trying to ward it off.

I will be moving to Citrus Heights in June to live with my brother, Carl, and twin sister, Dana. Hopefully I can transfer to a Starbucks near there. Then maybe I could ride my bike to work instead of driving. Save a little gas. I'm moving so that I can be near my family again. Maybe it'll help my sanity. It's not going to be permanent, as I love the bay. But hopefully it'll help.

There's really not a whole lot else to report on.. School started, so that's good.. Went to my first crab feed ever and had a blast with my pseudo mom and brother. They are awesome. And after the crab feed, Mom and I stayed up until 1 am talking. Just talking about life. It was kind of awesome, because I needed it, and it was refreshing to hear her thoughts on stuff.

I still cook, but I'm kind of going broke, so I don't cook as much as I want to. I LOVE to cook, though, so I try to spice it up whenever I do. Made a pot pie for the first time, that was exciting. But other than that, I've been keeping it pretty low key and simple.

Keep it real!
-Cheryl