Don't Go Changin'

Well.. It's been a while again. I tend to forget that I have a blogspot at all, and I don't post. It's a sad thing.

What's been going on lately is kind of a lot for me to handle. After leaving Kyle, I began to realize there were a lot of deepset issues that I hadn't quite confronted in my life. Issues that I pushed to the back of my mind and tried to ignore. The biggest issue was my mom's death. I swallowed up the pain and covered it up with a 'too serious too fast' relationship. I got gobbled up in a pit of depression, and am still trying to ward it off.

I will be moving to Citrus Heights in June to live with my brother, Carl, and twin sister, Dana. Hopefully I can transfer to a Starbucks near there. Then maybe I could ride my bike to work instead of driving. Save a little gas. I'm moving so that I can be near my family again. Maybe it'll help my sanity. It's not going to be permanent, as I love the bay. But hopefully it'll help.

There's really not a whole lot else to report on.. School started, so that's good.. Went to my first crab feed ever and had a blast with my pseudo mom and brother. They are awesome. And after the crab feed, Mom and I stayed up until 1 am talking. Just talking about life. It was kind of awesome, because I needed it, and it was refreshing to hear her thoughts on stuff.

I still cook, but I'm kind of going broke, so I don't cook as much as I want to. I LOVE to cook, though, so I try to spice it up whenever I do. Made a pot pie for the first time, that was exciting. But other than that, I've been keeping it pretty low key and simple.

Keep it real!
-Cheryl

I hope you're sitting down..

Well, A LOT has happened to me since the last time I posted in June.. Where do I even start??

In june nothing really happened.. Honestly! It's July that was exciting! My best friend got married to a wonderful young woman, who is dangerously close to becoming another best friend. (I'm a girl. We have to have 18 best friends at a time, otherwise we don't know how to classify our relationships!) They wed on the 11th of July. It was awesome!

I got engaged on the 17th of July while camping in Tahoe with Kyle. I was very happy, and very excited. Immediately after, we called our family and our friends, and we tried to tell as many people as we possibly could. And then when we got home, I was very overwhelmed by how many questions proceeded to come at me. The usual suspects, I'm sure, but none that I was prepared to answer. Questions from customers at work were- Where is it? Whats the date? What are your colors? How many in your party? Et cetera.. It was very overwhelming for a girl who never thought twice about her wedding before all of this.
Questions from my family were pretty formal. Does his family like you? What did your dad say? Who's going to be your maid of honor?
And from the few friends that realized that I WAS engaged(because apparently my text didn't reach everyone, and I guess they didn't notice the 50 comments on my relationship status change on facebook), wondering who was going to be in the bridal party seemed of utmost importance. In several cases, where they stood was extremely important, even though I hadn't really thought about many of them even being in the party at all... It was all quite an ordeal..
Especially since I wasn't feeling so good about the whole scenario. I suddenly had too many people trying to help me with my wedding, and not enough people trying to help me with my messed up relationship. Neighbors were suddenly my 'best friends', friends came out of the woodwork, and people that I never thought would ever have approved of Kyle and I were ready to donate to the cause.
All through August I swirled around the idea of marrying Kyle, and was constantly asked questions. I felt pressured, and applied pressure to Kyle to get answers to the questions. But pushing him made everything harder. We both decided, with a little help from our friends, to not talk about the wedding until Kyle had bought his house and moved in. And I started to tell my customers that we were waiting to talk about it until we could afford it.

But by September, I started to realize that there were a lot of issues that Kyle and I just couldn't agree on. And no matter how much I wanted to make it work between us, I just couldn't compromise the way I would have needed to for the rest of my life.
So, on September 11th, I had to make an extremely difficult decision. But I know that God has a plan for both of our lives. Whether or not we're in each others plans is another question.. But it's all in His hands, and I have to trust in Him with everything, my relationships included.

So I've made another oath to myself.. I am planning to stay single for a while. I have a lot of stuff going on in my head, and I have to straighten out my own life before I can even THINK about sharing it with someone else right now. I am working on spending more time with Jesus, too. Because, if there's one thing that I've realized through all of this, it's that I can't do anything on my own. I have absolutely no control over my life. And if I want to feel even a tiny morsel of control, I need to get with God more. Because He's the one holding the remote control. And no matter how much I turn off the TV, He still know's what on. And He knows how it's going to end.

So, that's what's been going on in the last couple of months.

You do WHAT??

So I was at work this morning, and a regular customer that I see a few times a week came in between one of our typical morning rushes. I was goofing around and asked him rhetorically if he wanted his 'usual' latte with one of every artificial sugar packets. I rattled them off, raw sugar, cane sugar, equal, sweet and low, splenda, and honey. He nodded, not really paying too much attention and then he stopped and looked at me.
Wait, that actually sounds pretty good, he says, with his almost serious face on the verge of cracking into a smile.
Especially the honey part, I responded, as I put only one splenda into his skinny caramel latte, the way he actually did take it.
He didn't seem to agree with me that honey was a very good idea, and I told him how much I love honey and how I like to use to substitute for sugar when I make bread.
At this he was surprised that I made bread.
Of course, I ended up promising to bring in a loaf for him to try.. Shame shame, Cheryl, now you actually have to make bread again.

Which actually makes me think..

Why is everyone so shocked when others, or myself, make their own bread? It's truly very easy to do. It's just time consuming. I've only messed up bread once by leaving it to rise too long(it got a yeasty flavor and reminded me of beer).
The only thing I can think of that turns people off from bread is the fact that it's time consuming. I don't think people give it enough credit. Making my own bread has always been exciting, no matter how long it took me to do. I mean, really, all you do is mix milk, water, and flour together with a bit of sugar and yeast. If you left it to rise and went to the grocery store, and when you came back you punched it down, it wouldn't really be a problem, would it?

I guess I'm just crazy.
But then again, I had to be taught how to activate yeast and what-not. I guess a lot of people, particularly in my own generation, don't really know how to use yeast, or even what it likes.

For future reference, yeast likes luke warm water and a touch of sugar. If you put it in too hot of water, the yeast dies, and if it's too cold, the yeast takes forever to grow. Quick test of whether or not it's too hot- if you can put your finger in the liquid for 3 seconds without burning yourself, it's perfect! Let it sit in there until the yeast gets foam on the top of the milk/water. If it's taking longer than you would like, add a pinch or two of sugar to the water/milk/fluid. If the recipe calls for sugar, put some of that measurement toward the yeast. EG- a teaspoon or so.
If it never foams, your yeast is either killed or dead already. If it's too old, it probably died long before you opened the packet.
Patience is key.

So, anyway... I challenge you to make some bread. Cuz, seriously, it's not that hard. I pinky promise!

-Cheryl

So Much FOOD!

Alright, so last I posted, I had gotten some skates. Since then, I've fallen(several times), slid, skidded, bounced, tripped, and rolled. And yet, I still suck. :) And I still love every bruise, ache, pain, and scrape of it!
I probably wont make a team, but I'm still planning on trying out. In fact, I will probably be going to meet a few of the girls who are in the pre-tryouts class at Golden Skate tomorrow. It's Christian Music night, so I might actually hear some Flyleaf or Kutless and get excitable. :D Maybe they'll show me how to be a better skater.

On another side of life, I've made 5 new dishes since we last chit chatted. First was friendship bread. Made from the amish starter that friends pass around. I made a few variations of it, and the first batch was a hit. But I made it a second time and it ended up being a little messed up. It stuck to the pan a little, and ended up coming out in chunks... Sort of. But it tasted great!

The second dish I made was some super fluffy, delicious pancakes! I was hungry when I went to visit my friend, Kimie, and she showed me where everything was. I loaded up my handy dandy 'all recipes' application on my phone and whipped up some of the most delicious pancakes I've ever had! Made one with chocolatey chips in it for Kim, and her face pretty much said- Nom nom nom! It was pretty successful, if I may say so myself.

The third dish was an attempt to convince my boyfriend, Kyle, and his dad, Alan, that most food is better when its not from a can. And since they were men, and thinking about camping, they were dead set on sloppy joe's. SO! I made sloppy joe! Honestly, I never thought to make sloppy joe's naturally.. It just never came to mind, opening a can is so much easier than looking up a recipe and buying all the supplies. Let alone looking in your own pantry for the supplies, yeesh! No thank you, sir! That's a trip down memory lane.. My mom's pantry was an organized chaos. I knew where the basic things were kept, but beyond that, she had so much stuff going on that I didn't even know what most of it was. And aside from that, not only was it chaotic in one pantry, we had not just one pantry, but two when we lived in oakley. And if you couldn't find what you were looking for there, any number of the cupboards probably had what you were looking for. Anyway.. I made some MEAN sloppy joe, and everyone loved it. And they even said I should make it again. :) I'm not going to lie, that made me a little proud, and puffy. Delicious dish, I suggest you all try it!

The fourth dish is probably my favorite. Well, maybe, I'm not sure. Kyle and I went to visit my sister, Tabitha, and my grandmother. I had promised to make them dinner, and only had two ingredients to draw inspiration from. Grandmother had italian sausage and cheese(TONS of cheese!!) in her refrigerator, so 're thinking,  decided to make pizza. I know what you're thinking.. WOW! PIZZA FROM SCRATCH?? Not quite. I called Kyle, and he told me how his mom used to make pizza for him when he was a kid. So I went to the store to get some sauce, veggies, and something to make dough with.. Which, in Linda's, Kyle's mom, tradition was Pillsbury's Grands biscuits flattened out with a roller. SO GOOD! We put most the topping, mushrooms, bell peppers, sausage, garlic, and olives, under the cheese. But we put the shrooms and olives on top of the cheese. :)
It was delicious. :)

The fifth dish was swedish meatballs. With peas, salad, and noodles(with gravy). My friend Lauren and her husband Mark came over so we could all catch up with each others lives. And so I could actually MEET Mark. :/ I felt bad for having not met him for the year or more that they've been married. Shame on me! But the meal was great! I've never technically made meatballs from scratch before.. Kind of reminded me of meatloaf. Not gonna lie. But it was fun! Swedish meatballs stand apart because they are fried instead of baked. I'm not really sure what other real differences there are, but the fact remains that they are delicious.  Although, I wasn't too impressed with the noodles and sauce.. There are some definite improvements needed there, but Lauren put in some garlic and it was a HUGE improvement! :) And the dinner conversation was awesome. Absolutely loved them.

Well, that's all I got for this episode of Cheryl the Chef(no, just cook).. Tune in next time for.. Uuuuhh... Who knows what!
Keep spicin things up!
-Cheryl