A Terrifying New Chapter

I've rewritten this post about ten times now..  And I haven't liked the way any of them were written. So I'm going to say it simply.

I have been laid off.
I've never been laid off before, and it is, frankly, a terrifying concept to me.
The horror that I may not find a job soon enough to pay all of my bills to survive is scary, and I don't want to be a financial or emotional burden on anyone.
For anyone who knows me that is reading this, I probably haven't told you. And that's probably because I'm so terrified. And also because I am not seeking pity on this. I am not looking for any handouts. I'm okay with some assistance, like a nudge in a general direction, but I would like to be able to say that I did this on my own.

So I'm going to look at this as a new adventure.
And I invite you to follow my progress.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for, and I am not sure how long it's going to take.
But I am sure that I'm trying. I'm putting forth my best effort.

I allowed myself two and a half days to be shocked about it. And now that it is Monday, it is time for me to buckle down and hunt.

Jobs Viewed: 20+ 

Resumes Sent Out: 2 

Cover Letters Written: 1

Superhero Bridal Shower

My twin sister, Dana, is getting married in March.
It's going to be awesome for her. Perhaps a bit sad for me, because I am a selfish human being, but I am very excited for her.
But since she is getting married, my older sister, Tabitha, and I threw her a Bridal Shower.
It took us quite a bit of time to come to a decision as to where it would be and what theme, but we finally came to a decision!

Superheroes!

I'm not going to sit here and walk you through how to do everything. That's what Pinterest is for, and I don't have the patience to type up step by step directions for how we did it.
But I can tell you that Pinterest is awesome, and Amazon is your friend. And also your local party supplies stores.

I purchased several adult sized super hero capes of various colors for bridesmaids and sisters to wear, reserving silver for the bride, and letting everyone else pick the color they wanted to wear. (As I am writing this, I am realizing I had offered a cape to my sister in law and forgot to fetch it for her.. Steph, if you're reading this, I hope you don't fault me.)

We played Bridal Bingo during the gift opening, and we also played the Pin Game (where no one could say BRIDE or WEDDING).
I found a gif of a blonde super female and a brunette super male, which perfectly matched my sister and her beau, and set them in the center of the Bingo card as the free space.
I didn't get a picture of the clothespins, but my older sister did an awesome job drawing tiny super hero logos on each of them. It was actually really cool, and I'm glad she did it! When she had first told me her idea for them, I thought she was going to print logos, cut them out, and glue them on.. My imagination producing a large chunk of paper getting caught in everyone's clothes and falling off.. (I have bad experiences with this happening..)





















I also set up a photo booth area, generally using this tutorial to build a backdrop frame, if you wonder, but since it was 10' tall, we added 2 support poles to the back at 45 degrees (top of the poles to the bottom and back of the feet). I really should have manned it, but it turned out pretty awesome, regardless.

I had intended to play a door raffle, but I completely spaced and forgot to ask people to write their name on pieces of paper upon arriving.. Whoops!

We bought wine, since it was an adults only party, for prizes from a local Wine Bar (Buon Vino), and attached Superhero Pez dispensers to them.
We ate dip, pigs in blankets, and drank punch (7Up, Hawaiian Punch, Orange Sherbet combo! MMMmmmm).

It was actually a really awesome party.

And I hope that my sister's marriage is just as awesome for forever.

(No part of this post was intended to be an advertisement. I just like sharing my crafty success and pointing people in the direction of local businesses. All photos are MINE MINE MINE! Don't be rude and steal stuff. Rude.)

A New Season, A New Leaf

Welcome to the new year!

In the spirit of the New Year, I am setting some resolutions for myself. And I hope that, at the end of the year, I can look back on this entry and nod in acknowledgement of having achieved that goal.
With that said, I will now jump on the bandwagon of resolutions and goals, in the form of a fabulous list. Because who doesn't like lists??

Resolutions for 2016

           1. Go Outside More Often

Go outside, however that may manifest itself. For me, I plan to go camping at least once, every other month. That's a grand total of 6 times, which should be doable.

Going outside will keep help me away from my extremely clingy boyfriend, Netflix. It's also something I always dream about doing, but am too afraid to do alone.
I grew up in a family that went on long road trips across the country, with our pop-top trailer in tow. There are pictures of my face covered in dirt, my hair a total mess and sticking up in several directions, and I wouldn't trade those memories for the world. And I don't understand why I ever stopped making those kinds of memories.. Why I ever stopped going on those kinds of adventures.


           2. Try New Experiences

This one kind of points to number one, but it's also a throwback. About three years ago, I made a resolution to 'Say yes to things you would normally so no to.' Within reason, no funny business! And I did, sort of, but not to the fullest extent that I could have. I still said no to the concept of things that scared me.

And I'm ready to say yes to so much more!

I want to go to a major sports game, just so I can say I did.
I want to hike to the top of a mountain, and back down it.

I want to wake up early in the morning and take pictures of the sunrise from a new place.

           3.  Quit Social Media

Yep. You read that right. QUIT. Maybe not all of it, if cold turkey is too hard for you. But TRY at least. For me, I have already deleted my Facebook account. I still have my Instagram account (don't judge me), but I hope to eventually delete that, too. And, if I'm being honest with myself, I will probably log back into the account before the month is over.. But hopefully I don't give up. Hopefully I re-delete it shortly after I re-activate it..

Social Media has caused a lot of self conflict for me, and I find myself constantly checking my notifications. 

Did anyone 'like' what I posted? How many comments did I get? I wonder what this person has to say today.. Oh, I wonder what Buzzfeed posted an hour ago. Hey, that Tasty post is almost identical to the recipe I've grown up with..

It's essentially an addiction. And I kept catching myself being distracted while I was with my friends, with my family, while babysitting my nieces.. It's not fair to anyone around me to be attached to my phone, to have my eyes downward, and my attentions somewhere else. It's taking away from what's directly in front of me. And I don't want to miss any experiences by wishing I was a part of someone else's.

           4. Write More Often

It doesn't matter how much, how well, or how often. Just make sure it's more often than you currently are.

For me, I am hoping to maintain posting in this blog. Hopefully you'll be reading a lot more posts about new adventures. Writing is very cathartic and I don't do it nearly enough.

           5. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

This, I feel, is a fairly cliche resolution, but hang in there. This one refers back to number three, and I don't want you to think I'm being ridiculous.

I don't want to compare myself to anyone else anymore.

In November I went to take some photos in Berkeley. I was dealing with one of my inner demons, and I genuinely didn't want to be there. After taking the pictures, I went to a lookout point and had some alone time. I took a selfie, and posted a picture of myself smiling, with some caption about 'enjoying the view'.

It was a lie. I wasn't enjoying the view. I was lonely, and wishing that I was someone else, anyone else. I wanted nothing more in that moment to be one of my other friends, any one of them. They all seemed to be so happy with their kids, significant others, homes, travel plans, life experiences, jobs.. The irony being that I was doing the exact same thing they were.

Because we all put out the face we think looks best, and will be best liked.

With the glorious wonders of social media, you only put out the face you want others to see. I am constantly comparing my life with theirs and it's not fair to anyone, especially myself, that I do that.

Pardon my french, but that kind of an attitude toward your own life experiences is bullshit. You know why? Because someone out there looking at what you do with your life and your spare time is wishing that they were in your shoes.

But life isn't about always being liked, coming in first, or being the prettiest. Sometimes life is ugly, cruel, gross, and heartbreaking. And it's through the turmoil that we do the most growing. And it's because of the crappy times that we can appreciate the good ones.

I'm going to attempt to cut out comparing myself to others. It's not going to be easy, but the best things you can achieve never are.

And that's it, kids.

Five resolutions that I hope I can live by. Five goals that I hope I can conform to and adapt to.

Good luck this year, people!

Breakfast Stuffed Bell Peppers!

I know it's been forever and a day since I have updated this.. So I'll briefly fill in the anonymous world of das internets.. Moved back to the Bay Area in October, as I believe you know.. I was working at a Starbucks store in Lafayette briefly, and then they transferred me to Moraga. I will soon be transferring to the other Lafayette store. Three stores in less than a year! It's been pretty crazy, but it's been really good. And I like it.

Nancie and I before our race in Napa!

As for roller derby, it's taken a seat in the very back of my imaginary 15 passenger van. It's very sad, but between a scare of serious back problems(I say scare because it wasn't as bad as I thought it was initially, but I did still require chiropractic care), and needing to work as much as possible to pay all of my bills, I just can't seem to find the opportunity to skate as often as I'd like. But I have been doing more outdoor skating, and I sometimes find time on the weekends to skate with Bay Area Derby Girls' recreational league called The Reckless Rollers. I skated in a half marathon about a month ago with a customer I had met that I found out skates outdoors all the time. It was a blast, and I never thought I'd be able to finish it without stopping for 5 minutes to breathe. But I actually did decently well, which is encouraging for next year. I don't think I would've gone through with the race if Nancie hadn't gone with me. :) I do plan on getting back on the track sometime in the future, but for now, I just can't afford to. And it's heart breaking.

What I CAN seem to afford to do, somewhat, is make food. Which I LOVE to do, but I haven't really been able to much lately, but I keep coming up with all these delicious ideas and haven't really had the opportunity to make them.. WELL! I got up extra early this morning to help out one of my three roommates, and I decided on my way home at 6:30 in the morning, "Hmm.. Maybe I will make some breakfast!"

And I did. And it was brilliant! And completely my own creation. I didn't google anything, look anything up on Pinterest, or any of that nonsense. I used my brain. WHAT?? That's crazy talk, no one does that anymore. She must be crazy.. Or lying.. NOPE! No lies! Totally from my own melon. ^_^

So, at the request of my friends from utter jealousy after seeing my Facebook post about them, HERE IT IS! Everyone calm down. Breakfast is here. And so easy to change into something vegetarian, or vegan(but what is life without delicious mooing cheese??), or super meaty, or.. Well, you could turn it into dinner.. But this is BREAKFAST, people! Gluten free, heathy, delicious, extra cheesy BREAKFAST! It's so versatile I could squeal!

Alright. So before we start, you should know I'm kind of a loosy goosy cook.  I make up the recipe as I go. But for you, I guess I could write it down for you... Just remember, I throw whatever I happen to have in my fridge into the pan.. With the right seasoning(or enough seasoning, really), you can make anything simple taste awesome!

Here we go!

6 bell peppers (any color will do)

1 lb sausage

2 cups frozen hash browns

4 eggs

2 - 3 cups cheese

1/2 cups salsa

1 tablespoon minced onion

salt and pepper to taste

And any other favorite seasoning you might imagine.

 Let us begin, shall we?

Prepare yourselves!!

• Step 1: Prepare yourself for awesomeness!!! I prepared by putting on my batman apron(thank you, twin sister, for finding this gem at Target!), got some coffee(I work at Starbucks, this gives me the right to be an annoying coffee snob. Just a heads up), and turned on my Pandora station(current hit list, FYI). (Oh, PS- apparently there is going to be a lot of self commentary in parenthesis. I know this is the incorrect use for the sideways frowny/smiley mouth. Get over it. Mwahaha!)

DEATH to peppers! Mwhaha!

• Step 2: In the words of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, OFF WITH YOUR HEAD! No but seriously, you have to remove the stems from the bell peppers. I call it de-heading, beheading, or guillotining. Purely because it's fun to. If you're broke like I am, save AS MUCH of the bell pepper flesh AROUND THE STEM as you can! Chop that stuff up and throw it in the freezer! You could totally use it in a couple days in some radtastic chili or omelette. Anyway!! Chop the heads off those suckers and toss em(GENTLY!!) into some boiling water. You might want to preheat your oven sometime soon. Unless you're a really quick chef. Then you probably should have done that before you started cutting into things like Sweeny Todd.. Turn that puppy on at 400 degrees. Yeah. I like it hot. (Yeah. I went there.)

Mmm brown stuff with green stuff...

• Step 3: Remove your bell peppers from the water! Only leave em in for 5 minutes, unless you forget. Like I did. Then they get super squishy and start to lose their color.. :( But hey! If you're crazy like me and put them in cold water and got bored waiting for it to warm up, start cookin that sausage! I cooked it with a mild italian sausage links I get in a bulk package at Costco(love that place..), but I did have an awesome idea to use some of Aidelle's chicken apple sausage.. Unfortunately, it's not in my freezer.. FROWN! Anyway, once your meat is brown throw in those hash browns(more like hash whites right now, better brown that stuff!), let your peppers dry out a little, and spray down your casserole dish. Or oil it. Or butter it. Whatever you fancy. (No judgement for the cluttered counter, ok? I live with boys. That's the excuse I'm going with.)

Don't forget to add your eggs and stretch this deliciousness!

• Step 4: For the broke kids, the moms, the working humans of the world, or even the party throwin' people, you might want to consider cutting your bell peppers in half. WHY? Oh, well, it makes them fit perfectly into a 9x13 pan. That's why. Also, they fit really well in ziplock bags, can be eaten without a fork, and if you make a crap ton of filling like I usually do, can make this dish heartily serve 12 instead of serving only 6! WHAT? That's crazy.. And they FREEZE? Wahh? Actually, I don't know if they freeze.. I planned to throw the remaining ones in there but my monkey roommates ate everything before I got home today(oh boo-hoo! It was delicious!). Oh yeah, you might want to add those eggs and seasonings sometime soon. Almost done, I promise!

400! 20 minutes! NOM!

• Step 5: Put the stuff in your pan into a bowl. Stir in about a third of your cheese. I'm not certain how much I used.. Pretty sure it was around to handfuls in the filling and two on the tops.. I'm guessing thats about 2-3 cups.. *shrug* Use whatever you're comfortable using! Stir in that salsa! I have pace.. And it was bomb.. Feel free to taste test what you have so far. Just to make sure everything is they way you want it. Spoon some filling into each bell pepper halve, sprinkle the remainder of your portioned cheese over each one, and bust that tray into the oven. Uncovered(whoa, she's gutsy!) for about 20 minutes. This will melt all that cheesy goodness and make everything fabulous. Promise!

• Step 6: DING! Booooom! Done. Your food is ready and delicious! Look at that! Nom nom goodness!! Have a glass of orange juice. Eat a piece of jellied toast.

I'm telling you. It's bomb. And I don't lie about food. True story.

If you're vegetarian, try making this with mushrooms, spinach, maybe some quinoa.. Mmm.. Quinoa..... I know it's more of a lunch thing, but some health nuts eat the stuff cold with yogurt, so it cant be that terrible, right? Do vegetarians eat eggs? Or cheese? I know vegans have substitutes.. And vegetarians have meat flavored veggie tofu.. Throw some of that in there! Especially if there's cheese! OH THE CHEESE!!!! Nom!

Anyway, if you have ideas, or you end up making this, let me know! I want to hear about it! I heart food! ^_^